i have a history of hyper ventilation. right now my vessels are high in pressure. high in blood i am killing my tissues, i don't know why.. but all i know is i am transforming myself. why? i don't know...
from long i am wondering, how would a hallucination feel ? from the inside, is it like a dream? i have developed a talent to distinguish between a dream and reality. 'i' come online inside my dream and tell myself that it is a dream, thats another story. can i distinguish between a hallucination and reality like the the dream? when buddha was asked by a seeker, whether it is true that there are heaven and hell. and gods n demons. is it true that there are things like 'mara' and his army of demons? he asked with wide open pupils that weather he can see them too ? would buddha be willing to show him all that, if he be his followers. lord [who prefered being called a teacher], ironically again.. 'lord' buddha then spoke. he said that he doesn't know, he will not show him all that. but he can give what a seeker needs. he can satisfy the urge that triggered the curiosity. that is how my curiosity about hallucination is. all my earthly mind needs is some attention. given that, no matter how deep is the urge or love towards anything, it just subsides. thats is just how deep our ego is.
i realised something recently, we are all already in hallucination
! continiously. what ever we think and talk or emotions are just connections between brain cells. the pattern we see. the colours. the depth perception all that are just few strengthen connections by repeated tracing, which means we are more prone to think that way. here is where talk about prejudices. whatever you are looking at, are picked up by your sense organs and done some FFTs and is perceived in a way how we are seeing. its a myth that we are inside this room. suppose if i, for some reason start to see the colour which i call as yellow as which you call red. will we be able to figure it out ever ?? i guess not. no, is what i think now. there could be something in this room that our sense organs are also not evolved to pick up. that is not our reality. that simply do not exist. those who have seen the movie source code can understand this very well. from outside we are just bundle of neurons that is supplied energy and food. but that brain of just 1.4 kg lives in an illusion that it lives in wherever it thinks it is ! we are not even one person who lives inside our bodies. i have a little set of neurons that is saying that i don't have patience to finish this article. we all think very ideally, atleast we think we do. but most of us fail to live so ideally. thats because of these others that live within us. we are sparks of sodium and potassium ions. each of our personalities a window to think in its way. but what comes out... is average of it all. thats why most of us are failures in reality. our hardware is in a shared network that can be be simultaneously commanded. and also hangup cause of multiple commands. i am not able to digest the fact that i am average of so many things in me. we are on so strict terms on privacy. we mark our boundaries so well. but we so messed up inside believe me! to find my soul, is to bring it all under one command. to enlightenment is to getting off the illusion that there is a line of command atall....
I-llusionszz!!!
ReplyDeleteA day of exploding waves and restless nerve cells bumping each other inside my brain. I tried not to give much attention to it, as I am told in Mediation. With my Varying history of Hyper ventilation I am pushed to choose something which I am not supposed to choose, because of which my vessels are high in pressure. My soft sweet tissues are torn out badly, I can feel the pressure inside but not able to do anything other than ignoring it, but subconsciously thinking about the same.
My talent in distinguishing “dream and reality” is asking me whether I can distinguish between “hallucination and reality?” Which I am not sure of?!! What is reality, what is visible or what WE want to see? What is a dream, what WE want to see, which we Can never or what we FORESEE? This is the question that’s striking human race from don know how long?!!
Once a disciple of Buddha asked - “Lord!! Is it true that there is heaven and hell, Gods and Demons? Things like ‘Mara’ and his army of demons? Can I see them?
My question is would he show him if he were his disciple?!!
Then Lord Buddha spoke- “I don’t know, I will not show you all that. But I can satisfy your urge that has triggered your curiosity.”
This is how my urge for hallucination woke up, my urge for knowing the difference between reality and hallucination was merely an Attention Deficient Disorder, A mere Attention, love, care and company from people which I need from my people around, I need them all, but there comes the big boundary that’s going to subsides all of these, EGO!!! Then I am wide awake and I realize that I am hallucinating, and we all are already in one BIG Hallucination.
It all just starts with the very basic thing, whatever we think, talk or emotions, they all are just connections between the brain cells. The pattern of colors we see, the things we perceive, the smell and taste that we feel, all are just a few strengthened connections by repeated tracing in our brain, which means we are more prone to think that way. Here enters the prejudices, whatever we are looking at, are picked up by our senses and some done FFT’s and its perceived in a way we are seeing. It’s a myth that, you are reading this sitting in front of your PC in your room. Suppose if I for some reason start to see the color which I call yellow as which you call it as red. Will we be able to figure it out?!! I guess not.
As Shakespeare says- What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
I think there would be something in this room that our senses are also not evolved to pick up. That is not our reality; that simply doesn’t exist for me.
As shown in the movie “Source code” from outside we are just a bundle of neurons that are supplied energy and food. It’s a Irony that our brain of just 1.4 kg lives in an illusion that it lives in wherever it thinks it is! We are not even one person who lives inside our body. It’s funny that my little set of neurons is saying that I don’ have patience to finish this article!!
We all think very ideally, but we fail to live so. That’s because of these “others” that live within us. According to me we are just sparks of sodium and potassium ions; each of our personalities is a window to think in its way, but what comes out… is average of it all. That is why most of us are considered failure in so called REALITY!! Our hardware is in a shared network that needs command and also hung up if given multiple commands. I am not able to digest the fact that even I am one amongst those average lots. We are on so strict on privacy that we mark our boundaries se well and we mess up inside!
To find my soul, is to bring it all in one COMMAND, to enlightenment is to getting off that ILLUSION that there is NO line of command at all…
this is a friend of mine.. who have tried to present my content in her words. she has done a good job. but, when i wrote, i wasn't that calm to care for any grammar. and never read it for all these days. all my errors, and the choice of words that i have made, the tone were all the reflection of what i had in mind ! its not true that we express only by words... we express a lot by the mistakes we make, the expressions, many things. the mass of emotions that is trying to channelize into text, will also mould into many actions. we can learn a great deal by them, thats what is called reading between the lines. calm minds, physics can read such unexpressed. but then, we call it mind reading.
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